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~Ruleless~

nothing can stop you!

11/1/06 12:07 pm

it is so boooooring >_<; mom went to Poland and i am sitting at home completely bored!!! again, i bought some shoes xD funny is, mom and me bought the same *hahahaha*
yeah, yesterday was halloween and i realized even here in berlin childres use to celebrate it. a lot of monsters and witches were collecting sweets last day and even on my door they knocked ... i was prepared for it this year.
my sis linda invivted me to a chatroom which is pretty funny. you creat something like your own profile and in addition to that you have "my site". the best thing is the guestbook. every one has its own and you can find there soooo many sweeeeeet graphics! i have here 2 sites where a lot of nice graphics can be found. one is german but it's easy in use:

angel eyes
suddel seite - german

and i found yesterday such an ugly pic!!!! i really have to present it here but don't watch it if you mind you won't stand it.
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10/24/06 11:05 am - quizzes again xD

just made them and look here

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10/23/06 02:56 pm

this is a pic a friend sent me a few minutes ago:

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8/18/06 02:13 pm - my creative work ... x3

well, i've finished it - my first own layout! somehow i was pretty proud but then i realized i made some mistakes xD well, nobody is perfect ^^
i'm still sick but at least i don't have to work ^0^ what a fun!!!! i know, i'm still young and should not be happy of being sick at that age but i don't care now...
today my sis linda will come to stay for the weekend. i guess it will be quit good fun: watching dvd the whole night; destroying my kitchen while cooking and stressing the neighbours while being extremly loud at night xDDDD
i also wanted to know if there are ppl knowing the following feeling: "damn, i have money... i need to buy something.... doesn't matter what but at least buy!!!!!!"? on some days i feel like spending some money for anything. it's just like "you have it then buuuuuuyyyy...." i hope i'm not sick or so ôO? my mom will kill me if she come back and have found something useless in my room .... <.<....

8/12/06 04:08 pm

i'm pretty bored and just found this site http://quizilla.com/ . i made a few of these quizzes and these are my results.... check out this site and have fun!







Which Mix of the Hogwarts Houses are You?




You're a Slytherpuff!: This is a rare combination but those that are true Slytherpuffs are not people you want to make your enemy. You take loyalty very seriously and if someone gives you their word you expect them to keep it. You either project a cold exterior and have a heart of gold inside or you seem all cuddly and nice on the outside and you are ruthless on the inside. People frequently underestimate you but this usually suits your purpose. Whoever has your loyalty is a very lucky person because you will fight tooth and nail to protect them. You have a protective streak and you like to champion the underdog. In life, experience has taught you that it's better not to be too idealistic or expect to much of other people. Still, deep inside you, you still have hope that everything will always turn out for the best. Your weakness is that sometimes you trust blindly, follow without question and this can lead you into trouble. With the loyalty of a Hufflepuff and the ruthlessness of a Slytherin you are a formidable person!
Take this quiz!








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What would you look like if you were turned anime? (lotz of picz:D)











What does your true eyes look like (perfect pix... nice results)




Earth eyes repreasents the nature within u.
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which country are you?




You are from Poland. You are very prideful of your country. You know how to party and fight. You like to drink ALOT of Vodka. You are the best of all.
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this one is abvious


5/1/06 11:04 am

ok, so yesterday i met my cousin agnes from luebeck here in berlin - she visited us. it was a lot of fun talking about our families and happenings in our childhood. she has not changed a bit. her face is like i remember from earlier and also her character remained same. aga is really sweet. while being here, my mom kidnapped her to her room to give her some clothes to try on. wow, my mom wanted to tell me she had a similar body as she was young like aga -> ôO? NEVER! anyway, in the end the bag was so heavy i was not able to carry it alone xD and mom has lots of space in her closet.
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4/29/06 12:04 am

ok, here I am again. as you see with new layout and new lifestyle - it's called bollywood and is really nice. but i wished my mood would be better. it's pretty late but nevertheless i have my beer next to me. well, my situation. it may sound like an essay to you but i just have to write about my broken little heart. so, please let me write in short about the lates topic: men are like shit (not every one, ok). it is so: i lost my heart to a guy called "franek" (it is just a nick). we were happy, we had great time together but then he disappeared for nearly 3 months. as he returned i lost control and got so angry that i can't remember what i cursed on him (but my friend told me it was really hard what i said). however, he tried to explained that he had to go home 'coz of family problems. ok, i thought, shit happens. the great BUT follows: again, he left town to somewhere - letting me standing in winter-time,tired and freezing waiting for him, who again was gone. so, i tried to think positiv. he has been a big asshole! ok, time goes by, loves come easyly....heheheheeee...not for me. i tried hard to forget him and to start some new relation with a guy i met one year ago. it was nothing cleared and "hugo" and me just wanted to know each other.then, one evening, i was just helping a friend's sis with homework as franek called - he wanted to explain again and meet. but i had a date with hugo so i said tell me now. he, as usual, wanted a face-to-face-talk so i said let's talk tomorrow. the next great BUT follows. so, BUUUUUUT, until today he did not call. well, i made situation clear to hugo and told him that there is franek and i added i would not be sure about what to do.
while kissing with hugo, i felt uncomfortable eventhough i said to me i will try with him. my mind got clear to me after being drunk on easter-sunday. it was so: my dear aunty, me and the vodka - we had a date. i got drunk as hell and my friend took to eat lahmacun (turkish pizza). i hardly remember the night but we went to hugo's shop to eat it. he just finished work so he was so nice to join me and my state of being full. i don't know much about what he said but it was something about drinking a little more OR to take me for an 1-hour walk (remember: i was drunk and able to do anything). thx god my friend didn't allow it and took me home. but hugo was still around and accompanied us to my friend's home. she left us alone and hugo and i started kissing again. jesus, it was strange. he didn't want to let off and i felt so bad... it was really horroble how my heart started hurting. finally, i managed to get to my friend's place. yeah, she was tired and i wanted home. i was not able to do alone so she called hugo to bring me. while walking he was talking something about love and a relation between us. i was shocked 'coz from my point of view there wasn't any...ô.O at my house's door he asked to kiss him if i loved him and at that moment i understood: never could i love him. i mean i felt like i was betraying franek O_x;;
ok, hugo's a fine guy but my heart belongs to just one: franek. and that's the whole problem. for nearly 9 months he has been disappeared and I maybe saw him just a few times. but everytime i see him or hear his voice my heart beats faster, i lose control of my body (it feels like a strong desire for his touches) and i'm out of my mind. i know these signs: clear symptoms of being in love but now, as i can't be with him i have the feeling of dying - honestly. i have never felt like this. i already told him last year that he has stolen my heart and now..... see, he is hurting me so much and i'm not able to protect myself.
today, after watching "dirty dancing" yesterday, i cried for about 3 hours. it always happens after seeing such movies and each time it hurts more. now i ask anybody for help. my plan(s) are like this:
a) hang myself
b) drunk as much as possible
c) curse him (or us)
d) any ideas???????
a friend told me the following thing: if you want a man's attention you have to ignore him.... ok, sounds good but he's not in town. so, folks, what to do?

2/17/06 03:24 pm - Dir en grey concerts in Germany

heheheee.... after a long time I'm back - back with some new stuff:
the scan of the tickets for diru's concert in Berlin
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8/15/05 09:04 pm

my private life stopped existing maybe last week. it is not easy to make a training AND go working but a few days ago I had to take over some old businesses and this means: no sleep, no time for me, a lot of alcohol and stress.
last week, I spent a whole nigth at my lawyer to change contracts so the now ex-leading manager can't do absolutely nothing (I came home in the morning to take a shower, to eat and to change clothes for school - after school work). then my close friend broght me the expected papers and said he would have a nice offer for me but I would have to talk to these guys by myselfe (he said to me as I was going through papers how shitty I looked >_<). so maybe at 21 pm we went to see them (it was friday and at this moment I was already 40 hours awaken). these guys were russians so at the end as we completed business discussions we drank some selfe-done vodka @_@'.... this was really hard and made me very tipsy. as my friend drove me home, I thought about cleaning up my life 'coz at the moment I had enough trouble. so I left the car and wanted to go home but I didn't - I went to my ex who actually lives a block away. in this moment I thought, I don't like the game he plays (saying to call, but not to do it; saying he comes and not to come) - it was clear that he still has some feelings for me. so I went to him - completly tired and drunk.... yeah, he was lucky to see me but I talked to him as I usually did with my business partners -> cold, direct, self-confident. he was not used to hear me like that so he was pretty surprised. anyway, I told him I don't like how he treats me and so on. after a long talk about god and the world he finally said that I would know his feelings but he would not know about mine. me, as usual, started to talk filisophically so he got nothing... xD. then I said he would know why I finished this relation months ago - not 'coz of no feelings for him but 'coz of my priorities (school, work). but as he called me some weeks ago and told me that he still loves me I understood that I somehow did too and it became a very hard time for me. so this special friday I wanted to stop fooling each other and thougt "now I'm drunk, it doesn't matter anyway so change it". as I sat at his place I knew it was right to come. I had no idea how to tell him about me but fortunatelly he knew selfe and it ended very nice this evening... ^^; plz... yeah, it was not THAT far...
today, I had school and I was lucky that my ex-manager didn't call me yet but I still had to do a lot of things. this little men who came from HK had a lot of papers for me to look through and I did not like the numbers I saw black on white. he tried to explain me many things ('coz I'm not that good anymore in business english) but somehow he could not reach my nind. well, i got the content but always as he asked for my decission concerning different topics I lost somewhere in dreams. grrrrrrrr......... I hate to work unconcentrated but I could not change it.... I really got angry about my own mind - this was really important but I dreamt about completly strange things. he and my friend who drove me last friday where just wondering if I would be fine. later, I had some discussions via phone and I did it really bad. the reason for all was my ex-friend who became my friend again. it is strange for me - I don't recognize me anymore. I lost my mind, my sense for business and could not complete discussions.... this is not me anymore!!!!!!! what the hell happened to me? am I sick or what is going on?
somehow I would like to return to 5th class of primary school. this was cool: just spending nice time with friends and learning and then going home just to play with my friends again - how simple this life was! there were no problems with men, no businesses but just the simple enjoyment of the whole day.
last night I started a bet with myselfe -> how long can I keep on doing my life like that (existing just out of school, work, business and alcohol Oh and just some hours of sleep)? my optimistical side said I could hold out up to X-Mas but my realistic side said just 3 - 5 weeks...
i got hungry 'coz i'm angry again so gonna go. just waiting for comments about: "WHAT IS WRONG IN MY LIFE?"

plz excuse mistakes but i'm really high xD;

8/9/05 10:03 pm - back again?

sorry, but I'm in exam preperation so I have no time to re-install all software (coz I had to delate windows and so on).... and I'm in very bad trouble so I will try to write something when I stop drinking xD;
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